Poly By Nature
EPISODE 111
“We realized that having friends was important to us, but we also realized that we were following a path that didn’t make sense to our happiness. A monogamous relationship was just not working for us. ”
In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess connects with Joe and Reese, hosts of the Poly By Nature podcast. They discuss their transition from monogamy to polyamory and why it was important in order to keep their relationship organic. They delve into the natural flaws experienced by newly opened couples and share insights on raising kids in an open relationship. Joe and Reese open up about introducing polyamory to their teenage children and how being open enhances communication and personal growth. By embracing this lifestyle, Joe, Reese, and Jess highlight how it has positively impacted their lives and reshaped their perspectives on love and relationships. The discussion extends to preparing their children for future relationships with an open mind and a non-judgmental attitude. Lastly, they reveal their exciting plans for the near future with the podcast.
In this Episode of Open Late:
From infidelity to polyamory
Navigating freshly open relationship
Introducing polyamory to teenage kids
Openness enhances communication and growth
Exciting plans for the future
Connect with Poly By Nature:
• Instagram: @polybynaturepodcast
• Podcast: Poly By Nature Podcast
• Website: https://www.polybynature.com/
Connect with Jessica:
• Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast
• Website: openlatepodcast.com
• YouTube: Open Late Podcast
• What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz
• Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp
2:54 When you're a monogamous man, it's often challenging to have female friends because it's usually assumed that there's something more going on or might happen. Joe
3:32 We realized that having friends was important to us, but we also realized that we were following a path that didn't make sense to our happiness. A monogamous relationship just was not working for us. Reese
5:10 Monogamy was like, you know, you get together, you commit to each other and say, I'm only being with you. You have a couple of kids and you just live life happily ever after. And our happily ever after wasn't coming fast enough for me. Joe
7:08 We are sold on that's supposed to be the happily ever after that for so many people just doesn't exist. And happily ever after never comes. - Jessica Esfandiary
8:40 I was looking more of open relationships and I realized how unimportant sexual exclusivity was to me because, yeah, I love it. But at the same time, for some reason it wasn't a big deal. Reese
9:46 So just having that avenue to be able to say, okay, I'm not weird, I can have relationships and friendships outside of my partner and still be faithful to my partner. Joe
10:07 That's the beautiful thing about non-monogamy is it's like it's a continuous active choice, an evolution. Jessica Esfandiary
11:30 We started with me thinking that I had to find someone that fit both of us immediately and fast. Like I need to go out and find a friend that makes sense for both of us. And she's got to be just as cool as Reese. Joe
18:12 I think that one of the greatest learnings that I've had come out of being open for ten years is realizing that the greatest relationships in my life, besides maybe Pasha and Lauren, like with my two partners, are nonsexual. Jessica Esfandiary
19:19 In the beginning of my poly journey, I thought it was geared towards sex. When I first looked it up, it was super glorified into a sexual connotation. But the whole world, when you start to talk about social media in the presence of what poly shows, it shows itself on a very sexual level. Joe
21:08 Entertainment and media sensationalize and over sexualize everything. And that clears the picture on why for so many people a sexual relationship may be the only way that they see to intimacy. I don't think we grow up with a lot of role models of healthy intimacy, healthy relationships that might be platonic polyamory or whatever it is. - Jessica Esfandiary
23:42 Being a poly parent now of two teenagers. We have great conversations about love and we have conversations about boundaries and we have conversations about all the things that are required to be a person in someone's life. And so once you do that, my kids are starting to realize things a little bit differently and they're seeing things that I didn't see until I was in my thirties. Joe
28:45 I want my children to know and to learn. I don’t think they will be poly, but I think that in the day, at least they'll be able to walk into relationships, monogamous or poly with an open mind and just simply says, okay, here's my boundaries, here's what I want from this relationship, here's how I want to grow from it, and here's what I can give you and be fine with that. Joe
34:17 So there's that time where we put our boundaries in place and we know where I can speak and what I can speak on. And there's other times where she'll say, Hey, this is a relationship that you're having. That's yours. You know, I can listen to some of it, but some of it is private between you two. And keep those two things private because, you know, she may not want me to know some of these things, not in the bad way, but more in a respectful way of, you know, relationships separations at that point. Joe
36:08 So many women are conditioned to believe that sexual intimacy and exclusivity should be really important to them because it's like what society teaches us. Jessica Esfandiary
37:13 I had to figure out exactly what I needed in a relationship from him. And the sex is nice and sex is great, but I realized that our drives are completely different. And if somebody else is helping them out, then I'm perfectly fine with that because, yeah, I'm not going to rise up to the task. Reese
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