Dr. Wednesday Martin
EPISODE 116
“That is a huge shift in your pleasure, and it comes from science. But science was buried for a long time. So my job is to get that science out there so that it can change your life and improve it.”
In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess continues her conversation with Dr. Wednesday Martin, a bestselling author and renowned sexpert. Wednesday's mission is to help women feel less weird in their desires and experiences. Their discussion delves into various models of desire and arousal, the measurement of responsive desire, and the controversy surrounding the term "ethical non-monogamy." The profound influence of language on our emotions and learning is another intriguing topic they explore. Wednesday Martin demystifies menopause, highlighting the contrast between its portrayal and the reality women experience. They also delve into Wednesday's book, "Untrue," which provides incredible insights into women's desires and relationships. To conclude, they share an exciting revelation about a more effective position for sexual stimulation and a deeper understanding of the complexities of desire and relationships.
In this Episode of Open Late:
Desire models and controversy
Measuring responsive desire
The impact of language on emotions and learning
The reality of Menopause
Research in understanding relationships
Connect with Dr. Wednesday Martin:
• Instagram: @wednesdaymartinphd
• Website: http://wednesdaymartin.com
• Book: “UNTRUE” http://wednesdaymartin.com/books/untrue/
Connect with Jessica:
• Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast
• Website: openlatepodcast.com
• YouTube: Open Late Podcast
• What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz
• Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp
2:12 We had one model of sexual desire and it was a linear model and it went from arousal to desire to orgasm in a straight line. But we learned that desire is more complicated for both men and women than we thought it was, That it's not just a linear process. - Dr. Wednesday Martin
7:32 I thought, I have a big sexual appetite. And then I learn that that's normal and also to be reminded that the misinformation that we share is so damaging and disempowering not just to women, but to everyone. - Jessica Esfandiary
7:04 It's so empowering as a woman to learn that having a big sexual appetite is normal - Jessica Esfandiary
8:40 You and I are very fortunate. We're not more ethical than other people. We're fucking lucky that we live in a culture where we can say, “Listen, monogamy is not working for me, it's working for us. let's do something about this” and we won't get killed for it. Not every woman is so lucky. - Dr. Wednesday Martin
11:25 A lot of practitioners, especially men of what they call ethical non-monogamy, have been socialized away from communication and they have been socialized away from talking about feelings and being. - Dr. Wednesday Martin
13:03 It boils my blood when I hear people, especially men calling a girl a gold digger. You literally designed the system where she has no rights or capabilities to take care of herself without the help of a man who can provide. And yet you want to punish her for trying to make sure that her well-being and the safety of her and her children is intact. - Jessica Esfandiary
15:16 Consent should be enthusiastic. - Dr. Wednesday Martin
27:39 That is a huge shift in your pleasure and it comes from science. But science was buried for a long time. So my job is to get that science out there so that it can change your life and improve it. - Dr. Wednesday Martin
27:51 One of my biggest agenda is to help women feel less weird about who they are with science and data. It's one thing if you say to a woman, Oh, no, no, honey, it's okay. If you want to be non-monogamous, that's normal. It's another thing if you back it up with 250 studies in peer review or peer journals, about the social and sexual behavior of non-human primates. - Dr. Wednesday Martin
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