Asking For a Friend
EPISODE 127
“You can’t love your way into their hearts if they don’t want you there. You cannot love your way into someone’s heart if they don’t want you there. ”
In this Episode of Open Late, Drea answers questions from listeners about love and relationship codependency. She shares her personal journey of becoming aware of codependency and the impact it had on her relationships. Drea also discusses the turning point and breakthrough moment she had with codependency, as well as how it affected her professional environment. She provides advice on establishing healthy boundaries, reclaiming independence in a relationship, addressing the fear of abandonment, and expressing needs without creating tension. There is hope for change, prioritize self-care and self-love always!
In this Episode of Open Late:
Becoming Aware of Codependency
Impact on Professional Environment
Establishing Healthy Boundaries and Reclaiming Independence
Expressing Needs Without Creating Tension
Hope for Change
Connect with Drea:
• Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/
https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/
• Website:
https://www.openlatepodcast.com/
• YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos
3:28 This shows up in work, relationships, this shows up in friendships, this shows up in even simply something as simple as the groceries .I don't want them to have to wait too long. If I'm looking for something in my purse, I'm always thinking about other people, always thinking about other people and putting myself on the back burner.
7:38 That was a big turning point for me because there was really a time and space where I felt really crazy in my behavior in that I was the only person in the world that was experiencing that. So that was a major turning point for me to go to those meetings and think to myself, my God, there are other people who are experiencing this exact same thing.
10:07 Just calling in and changing my schedule, asking people to pick up my shifts, all the things now take out the love and relationship part and just talk about codependency. my gosh, It absolutely affected me at work because when you are a people pleaser and you struggle to say, No, I can't work that shift, or no, I can't do that.
11:35 You do not want to give a person a laundry list of things to do when you're working on shifting your behavior that can be very overwhelming and you go into shock mode and then you just end up not doing anything. That's usually how that lands where you think there's, okay, I'm not, I can't do all that.
13:55 There is a space in a relationship to have some healthy independence and it really helps you get back to yourself if you are lost in a relationship. And sometimes when it's two people that are just full on that way, you don't even know that you're lost until something happens and you look up and you haven't spoken to your family, you haven't spoken to your friends because you're completely enmeshed.
17:07 The tighter you hold on to something, the more it's going to want to just get away from you and people are not attracted to that energy. People are not attracted to that energy. Having self-respect, having boundaries, creating your space. That is what's attractive, that is what is attractive. And if you are feeling those feelings of being abandoned, you have to do your own self work.
23:28 You can't love your way into their hearts if they don't want you there. You cannot love your way into someone's heart if they don't want you there. It's there for it's not there. And it's the most painful realization, but it's a true realization.
23:43 Time does heal. It. Does things change. I mean, thank God I'm not still crying about the guy I was upset about. It was 17. And I remember that cry very vividly as well.
